EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

▀ Communicating to manage anger - their anger

An angry employee bursts into your office, screaming about some real of perceived slight or injustice and fixin’ for a flight.

What’s an effective way to restore calm?

Consider taking a page from the professional diplomat’s book

Diplomats - people who restore calm for a living - say the most effective approach lies in how you voice your response, not much in what you say.

Softer, slower

Here are two voice tips from the masters:

Lower your voice. When we’re a little hot under the collar and cruising for a confrontation, we’ve been conditioned to expect an in-kind response: If I’m shouting, the other person should be shouting, too, right?

That’s why lowering your voice a little has such a jarring effect on would-be combatants. It takes some of the high-temperature air out of their balloon.

The lower-voice technique isn’t used much because people fear it’ll be perceived as a sign of weakness of timidity. Not true. If anything, it underscores to the angry person how out-of-control he or she sounds.

Speak slowly. Again, the contrast in communication catches angry people off-guard. They’re speaking rapidly, so they expect you to speak rapidly.

Slowing your pace almost forces the other person to slow down and calm down (without your saying, "Calm down").

And if all else fails, repeat this quote to yourself: "It takes two to tango - and to have a flight."

Source: Sherman’s 21 Laws of Speaking, by Rob Sherman.

ISBN 0967588707